Hello ladies and gentlemen and doggies. This is The Daily Bone and I’m Chester L. W. Stephens.
Today I have an important announcement. After a thorough study of the alien squeaky toy entrusted to me by my late colleague Professor Braydie Spiker, I have discovered that it is comprised of three parts: an internal tennis ball type core, an outer wrapper made of a felt-like fabric, and a striped tail made of furry fabric. There was a squeaky mechanism as well, but I chewed that into tiny pieces that my humans threw away. Sorry.
I’m still awaiting the outcome of my associate Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens’ research with the squeaky stuffed bunny toy he received from Professor Braydie. He says it's much too special to simply dissect, and therefore needs extra time to study it. In the meantime, he's put it in a secret hiding place.
In other news, one of our favorite fans, Auntie Pat and her cat Tricky sent us a recipe for squirrel pie that sounds delicious. My humans said they would cook it for me, but I have to catch a squirrel first. They also mentioned that in the UK gray squirrels from the Evil Squirrel Cartel have been displacing the native red squirrels, and there is a campaign to eliminate them by making them into pies. Wow, the British doggies must be very busy catching all those squirrels! I wish they would tell me their secret squirrel hunting techniques. Meanwhile Joey dog and I will continue our surveillance activities. And that’s a memo.